Take my money!

I came a bit late to Instagram. Mea culpa. But it’s now my favourite – if least informative – social media platform because it’s just oh…so…pretty.

I lament ads on Twitter. I lament ads on Facebook (in fact, I lament Facebook full stop). But when an ad pops up on Instagram I am there, I am IN and I am poised with my credit card. If I can’t get it delivered, preferably on subscription, I don’t want it.

Last week was a biggie.

The March magazine from my Stack subscription arrived. They choose an independent journal and post it out to you once a month. Last month was poetry (not my thing). This month it’s a magazine published by the Copenhagen Institute for Futures Studies. All matt paper, big photos and articles that will make me smarter. Heaven. Died. Gone to.

My first instalment of VITL vitamins plopped onto my desk. I’d filled in a nifty online questionnaire and then got my first month’s tailored box of daily vits. This is a vitamin selection I won’t forget to take because (joy) it has my name printed on it. Love that.

My first ‘wellness’ plant arrived. A big box of leafy goodness designed to suck the toxins from my home in the same way the vitamins will suck the toxins from my body. I’ve subscribed to quarterly deliveries – which is about the same time it will take me to accidentally kill the plant. Probably with the same toxins it’s designed to eradicate.

And if that wasn’t cleansing enough, let’s not forget All Plants. I’m no vegan but I do like a frozen ready meal. The packaging is beautiful and the meals I’ve eaten so far are entirely delicious. Yes, all ordered and delivered from Insta.

Subscriptions aren’t new, of course they’re not. I’ve done Graze (too much snack!), meal delivery (I now favour Gousto) and regular magazines. And, frankly, if you tried to figure out who I am from this list of recent subscriptions you’d get me pretty wrong. You’d think I was healthier, skinnier, bendier and cleverer than I am. 

Instagram ads get me because they’re pretty and they say it all in one image. And yes, I’m reminded to get on and do it because the algorithm delivers me the same ad until I eventually succumb.

But I love it.  And I’m one click away from ordering my latest faux-me trinket. Watch this space @thirstyulla.